Hillarious. My bro sent it to me.

The Darwin Awards 2009 Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards arebestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intendedvictim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber JamesElliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barreland tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meatcutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to hisinsurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its mento have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his carduring a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman hadtaken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean busdriver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transportingfrom Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there afree ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, tellingthe staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarrefantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serioushead wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received theinjuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close hecould get his head to a moving train before he was hit..

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on thecounter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, theman pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerkpromptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leavingthe $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from thedrawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is acrime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decidedthat he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab somebooze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head atthe window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on thehead, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made ofPlexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a mangrabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the womanwas able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Withinminutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car anddrove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told tostand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that'sher. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into aBurger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demandedcash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cashregister without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerksaid they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on aSeattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived atthe scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home nearspilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying tosteal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewagetank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges sayingthat it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends andfamily....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distantrelative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant andhope they remain lost.